Caresses, disguised as affection,
lurking in the shadows of her bedroom.
Calloused hands, hurried by intention;
invading her most sacred spaces.

Brave moments of honesty,
brought chastisement, and shame.
Reprimanded and labeled ‘too sensitive’;
self-hatred soon entrapped her soul.

Forever scarred with indifference;
self-inflicted wounds were far deeper and precise.
Starvation was her weapon of choice;
a longing for lungs made out of dust.

A twenty-eight-years-to-life sentence;
bars consisting of self-loathing and depreciation.
Temporary insanity, caused by social immorality;
inner demons controlling every thought and action.

Alive, but barely breathing,
existing on ice chips and determination.
Blue lips and fingernails; both signs
that blood still pumped through icy cold veins.

Warmth became something she longed for,
in the dark caverns of her double king bed.
Shivering felt like earthquakes to her weary bones;
chattering teeth, slamming against aching gums.

Life; the only barrier between Heaven and earth.
Starving for affection and a loving embrace,
her prayers for death went unanswered.
Forced to live a life of self-destruction.

© Debra McLain

Excerpt from the book “To Conquer Or Die Trying”

http://www.ctupublishinggroup.com/debra-mclain.html
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