Back in ’84 the hood had me a year before,
when rollin’ 60’s, Li’l Fee set out to kill that
eighty-three & ended up on time magazine.
While we were getting it in like Ak-47 fullies
with fully loaded magazines, then
gang banging became “a thing”.
Those who were there know what I just
said; words that painted an entire generation
dead. It left a whole lot of mothers grieving
man, I’m grateful that I’m still breathing.
I was held in deep and leading where I was
bleeding please, believe me?
Praying for a way through it but beast enough
to rise to it and those in power knew it.
You’d think a shootout up close would fuck a
child up the most but my inability to get close
is what stood out the most, or perhaps
the discomfort of my enemies standing close.
You can’t take a life and not have it effect you
and Ronald Reagan’s “War On Drugs” was a
death wrath hanging over the black youth.
The CIA was running the crack through
then built prison camps to run black youth
through who became prison gang troops.
Grown men no longer “youth” but, our
age spoke the truth. Youth gladiators bred out
to get to the glue; though my gang was red
everybody in prison wears blue and how well
you got your ass kicked defined you even refined you
I’ve endured too much pain to be lying, dude!
They don’t want me speaking spoken word to
this so that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’m the breed
they bred when their hate bred me too. Trapped
me like a beast and raw meat is what they fed
me too. While savagery is what the lead me to
what I was really lead to was the smelting of GOD
that lead me through.
Blessed with the sense to ask just how we were
mislead and blew it. So, I found one of the founders
and posed the question to it and found out that it had
a black panther connection to it and agencies like
COINTELPRO knew it.
You see, the panthers had a movement going,
The kind that young soldiers were missing.
So, they assassinated Bunchy Carter while
the youth were listening. Are you listening?
Los Angeles street gangs were the soldiers that
Huey P. was missing, see?
So, they quickly dispatched the black panther
party, but hardly because bastard babies were
left behind guessing. Raymond, Tookie & Puddin
were youth without direction, never got to finish
the lesson plus legislature rewrote the laws
in ’77 that flipped the penitentiaries to prisons.
Now listen? They followed it up by building 33
more prisons and put them up on wall street;
tell me I’m tripping?
J. Edger’s plan was cast and set and we fell
into the plan by being niggas and putting negus
on the set… and that’s on “The Set”!
To make sure that we were good and broke,
they started trying 16 year old’s as adults
to be raised in literal prison camps, no joke!
All the while we were wilding out doing
drive buy’s prohibition-style ‘cause most of
our elders were crackheads now.
Remember what I said before about Li’l
Fee, in ‘84? The case was the case on
every tv it was “Li’l Fee from rollin 60’s”
who kicked in the wrong door and became a
household lore but we never asked just
what was the publicity for?
Now let me speak candidly, I was only 13
when I had a russian made AK-47 handed
to me and the need to use it would demand it
of me. I was a standard bearer with a bandanna
on me and every bandanna, wearer became a
“homie” like homie!!
The madness had a hold on me which took a
LIFE sentence in the penitentiary for me to
mentally break free. But first I had to break me
in order to stand over the BREAKING. The
extermination of an entire generation was in the
making and I was at the heart of the whole thing.
This is turf talk, not some conspiracy theory.
I just walked 27 years in prison so you can hear me.
I’ve lost a whole lot of people dear to me because
we couldn’t figure out where we fit HERE, you see?
Babies full of rage with no identity so like
the rest of the beast I took to the streets and
adopted the worst name given to me.
But they knew we were more…
So, they stop calling us MOORS and taught us
That we were no Moor than slaves.
They know that we built Universities when
they still lived in caves. In comprehending the
mind of the enemy, in order to justify their
inhumanity, they had to lie that fact away.
Now we’re stuck with being BLACK today
and looking for Power in that today.
Confused by how that defines away our
reaction is blood & cripping today but in all
actuality, we’re tripping today because new
laws are made like 5 moves already played.
But we sit up all day playing video games and
relationship games. So stop playing and acting
like you don’t know what I’m saying.
It’s insane but I’m putting you up on game
however, that’s not the only thing insane.
Middle schools resemble penal institutions
and these are the conditions for which they
train our youth in. Plus, teachers teaching in
communities they don’t live in. Listen?!
Strangers with our babies is a new spin but
now there’s a new trend calling each other
KINGS & QUEENS without really knowing what
that means. Yet and still, I encourage that type
of thing. But it’ll take Moor than that type of thing
to get this thing right. You know what I mean?
I mean, a man would have to first be a MAN before
he’s a king and a woman would have to first realize
that it’s her MIND and not her body that makes her
queen. Plus, being the jester for another’s entertainment
has never been a royal thing; here’s another thing,
our babies are popping pills and doing strange things.
So, we best to man up and do some brave things.
It’s been very little progress because Malcolm spoke
about the same things. We have to get reacquainted
with our elders, stand on tradition and be weary of
these new things. Get back to drum playing, shaka
singing, and barefoot dancing; mutual parenting and
the Spirit to do so caringly, are you hearing me?
So, listen to me? This is not some mindless rap song
panhandled by big industries; this is that last poets
struggle through and through. We started in the struggle
but somewhere we were duped.
We went from the panther party “Black” to the
queen of England’s “Red & Blue”, it’s true…
© Kesau’c N. Hill
Excerpt from his book Serengeti Noise
About the Author
Kesau’c N. Hill is an ex-gang member who, at the age of sixteen, was convicted of murder and sentenced to serve 15-years to Life in the California Department of Corrections. Fighting became a lifestyle that would accompany the gang world deathstyle. However, he would soon be mentored by an English teacher named John Murphy who saw past his tough guy exterior into something explosively creative.
He introduced him to the art of poetry and the power of the spoken word. He’d use that power to his advantage when his life serving Life became too difficult to bear. By defiantly writing poetry all over his prison cell walls “meaning” and “Passion” was discovered, hope and a sound vision was realized. Quite literally, poetry saved his life.
Visit Kesau’c Hill’s Author Page At www.ctupublishinggroup.com/kesau-c-n.-hill.html