Excerpt from “Pressing On” by Author Billy Charles Root

Self-Sorrow

I am in the pit if self-sorrow
My bones ache with in me
My flesh clings to them
I am drowning in my fearful heart
I can’t breathe
I reach out for you but I can’t find you
Your voice can’t be found in mine ears
My faded eyes have gone blind to the grace side of me
Where am I
I can’t tell
Forgive me for asking again but what have I done
Am I cursed or have I cursed myself
What am I missing
My back aches from the weight of this unbearable load
My knees buckle from the pressure
My heart is bursting every moment with unsureness
The enemy has a finger in my head
Spinning the thoughts of anger and hate in my mind
He whispers to me always like a coward trying to avoid being caught
I have sinned so much against thee
How can I continue begging mercy not to leave me
Forgiveness I desire but I fail to obtain it
Or am I being tricked
Am I being lied to again
I scream shut up at the very thoughts
This cannot be the grace I’ve believed
The mercy I’ve been given
No
I will stop
Be still turn my face back to the cross
Kneel
Bow and praise thy great and holy name.

© Billy Charles Root

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