I was never comfortable
in my own skin
always fitting like
the wrong size
Entering a room filled
with people, sure they
sensed my discomfiture,
my mind frantically
seeking the corner
to be inconspicuous,
hidden far away
I smiled
I feigned indifference
I feigned self-assurance
I feigned attractiveness
I was sure they could
see through me
like a counterfeit bill,
hot off the press,
a little too crisp,
a little too new, as
transparent as a sheet
of cellophane, my false
bravado left me feeling
phony, on more reason
to self deprecate
I cried
hiding my fear
hiding insecurity
hiding ineptitude
Questioning why it
has always been
as far back as I can
recall, this is my reality
Morphing into something
like terror, immobilizing
my ability to perform tasks
People frightened me,
at the bank, at the grocery
store, at the drive through,
at my front door
I died
inside a little
renewed a little
healed a little
loved myself
just a little
© Brenda-Lee Ranta
Excerpt from the book “Myriad of Perceptions”
About the Author
Brenda-Lee Ranta resides in a small mining town, in Timmins, Ontario, Canada. She has been employed with her local Police Service for 19 years. She shares her journey with her life partner, who is a musician, poet and lyricist; their rescue dog, Jake and rascal cat Fritz. She is the mother of three children, two step-children and three grandchildren. They are her greatest pride and joy.
Always moved by poetry and prose, she has been most inspired by the works of Leonard Cohen, an amazing Canadian word-smith. This is her first book containing a cross section of her works.
Visit Brenda-Lee’s Author Page At: www.ctupublishinggroup.com/brenda-lee-ranta-.html
Categories: author
Reblogged this on The Lyrical Journal and commented:
an excerpt from my book..
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