Writer Highlight Featuring: H Paul Goodwin |

My name is Nathaniel Twenty

I live alone in the âAverage Heightsâ gated community on Goodbuild Boulevard, Buttchin, California.

My parents are dead, so my friends are my family. I have a girlfriend, Louise, who likes me but doesnât like my job. Iâm a stripper vicar; combining my passion for the Methodist ministry with my twin hobbies of contemporary dance and removing my pants.

You need a sense of humor for the job. I remember doing a gig in Jamaica, where a group of drunken girls started throwing jerk chicken at me. That was fine because I like jerk chicken but once at a show in London, when some girls started rubbing cold shepherd’s pie all over me, I went freaking nuts. I vaguely recall shoving mashed potato upâ¦ well, another time, maybe.
Anyway, I donât care about those guys, but I do care about you.

I know strippers and vicars get a bad name but Iâm a good guy. Iâm kind, honest, caring and a considerate lover.
Sadly, Iâm also a pathological narcissist, liar and sociopath.
I love my faith, dogs, golf and myself, period. I have only one ambition in life, and that is to buy a dog, play more golf and found my own church/co-ed stripper college.

My philosophy for life? Itâs simple. Donât do unto others as they wouldnât do or have done to them or others or as you wouldnât (or would) have done (or not) to themselves. Or others.

The most important thing to remember about me is this: regardless of your opinions about my vocation, please acknowledge that I am a simple man, a decent, law abiding, hard working servant of God. Bless you my child and may God go with you.

Now, where did I put those âcuffs and heels?

Response to our Inspiration Call on July 13, 2014
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