“Affliction of Conflict”
Sitting long in my affliction, pausing still ’till dread shall pass.
Thinking deep of my confliction, my fell heart has lost it’s mass.
Not escaping, never forward, caught within mine own abyss.
Ever tortured, never comfort, Oh what life my soul does miss.
I pause upon my own reflections and my hurts so deep and sore.
Mind unknowing, painful showing, my afflictions evermore.
Peace? I’ll not allow it, not from the moment that I wake.
My mind conflicts my soul for the choices my heart make.
Oh but deeply, more than deeply, thinking long so deep and grim.
Catching oft but fleeting glances of from where my hurt does stem.
Never can I tear away what has conflicted me just so.
Never can I overcome what great loss my soul did know.
Oh but I would give my life that a smile last on my face.
Oh but I would live in strife that my mind leave from this place.
Alone? Oh, now and always, every minute, every day.
My mind will not allow a time with another I can stay.
Oh, but I would wish it, wish for gladness, strong and true.
I’d wish an end of my own torment, end my dark, conflicted view.
But e’re my soul, it does subject me, it would keep me deep and fell.
It would keep my mind in darkness, keep me deep in darkness well.
Is it so that I have choices? Can I not turn round my heart?
Can I not end my own tortures that in newness I may start?
But no, I’ve failed in trying, my control is not my own.
Cannot break through my conflictions, doesn’t matter how I’m shown.
Logic? Ah, it has not meaning. It is useless to me now.
I’d give place to good and logic but I can’t see when nor how.
Endless is the turmoil, it’s attack in endless wave
The walls that shield my heart are lost, my mind, I cannot save.
© RJ Little 2015
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Photo Credit: © Donna Sanders
